Hi, I'm Zam not my real name and don't wanna mention what my real name is. I was 6 yrs old when I experienced sexual harassment, and you know what's worst? It was my dad who harassed me, and even I told it to my aunts they never believed me. I was 4 yrs old when my mom left me to my dad and in my first year staying with him I can tell you that he was a very good father. He buys me everything that I want. He gives me everything that I asked for. Not until one day, it's just a normal day, a rainy normal day. I was with him in the same bed, sleeping. He went there and boom! I was shocked that he started kissing and touching me. I tried to stop him but what else can I do? I was just a kid that time. He touched my breast, my butt, and he started to insert his fingers in me. I cried. Yes, I cried a lot. But again, I'm just a 6 yrs old kid who didn't know how to fight. While I'm growing I became so much worse. I tried cigarettes, I tried alcohol, I even tried marijuana. And when I was 12 yrs old, that's the age where I tried my first active sex with my boyfriend. Yes, I was only 12 yrs old when I started dating someone. And guess what? My dad became furious about it. I told him that I already had a boyfriend, 'coz why not? If having a boyfriend is the only way out in that bad experience, then why not? I thought it would be better, but I was wrong! He became the worst person I've ever met. He always beat me for no reason. That's why I stayed in my boyfriend's house. And in my shock, it was 12 at midnight and my friend was knocking on the door. And boom, she's with my dad. When I go out, my dad suddenly grabs me in my arms and he chokes me in front of my friend and boyfriend. He said that we're going home, and so we are. At our home he started telling me that "baka laspag kana" "baka hindi kana virgin" etc etc. And there it is, he raped me. Yes, it happened. I can't move 'coz there's a knife pointing in my head. But there's an idea that came into my mind, I kicked his balls. Then I ran away. I told everything to my boyfriend, and helps me to file a rape case to my dad. Though, the case has been filed, the DSWD brought me into a facility center. To process the traumas, to process what happened before. I've been in the facility center for 3 yrs and transferred to another facility. I stayed in that facility for 2 yrs 'coz I'm having psychology sessions that time. In that total of 5 yrs staying in a facility center, it really helps me. To change my perspective in life, to regain my trust in myself, to build a trust with others, it helps me to heal from my past. The sessions, the people that I've met, the activities that I experience with them, it really helps me to become a better version of myself. Now I'm 22 yrs old, I already have a family. I'm able to apply everything that I learned for the past 9 yrs. And, yes I am not yet a college graduate but I am pursuing it. For those girlies out there who have been a victim of sexual abuse, trust the process and I know that you will be able to cope with it.
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